Aswang Jokes

President Pnoy walks into the BPI and says to a cashier, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me"?

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID"?

Pnoy: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Pnoy, the president of the Philippines."

Cashier: "Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the Government regulations, monitoring of the banks because of imposters and forgers, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."

Pnoy: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am.."

Cashier: "I am sorry, but these are government and bank rules and I must follow them."

Pnoy: "I am urging you please to cash this check."

Cashier: "Look, this is what we can do: One day Manny Pacquio came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Manny Pacquio, he punched the security guard & knocked him out. With that punch, we knew him to be Manny Pacquio and we cashed his check."

"Another time, April Boy came in without ID. He started singing “diko kayang tangapin”, made an “X” gesture w/ his arms & threw away some baseball caps… & we cashed his check. So, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you?"

Pnoy stood there thinking and thinking and finally says: "Honestly, nothing comes to mind. I can't think of a single thing I can do."

Cashier: "Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?"

~~ TOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY ~~

With a trip pending, opportunity was had last night to celebrate Tom's birthday at our place.

With our pending (hmmm getting to be overused word) move away from home, parties in the 'G-Spot Karaoke Rooms' are on borrowed time - something that, given a huge amount of unwanted memories, is not necessarily a bad thing - actually its a very good thing.

Change is not something the Aussie Aswang normally embraces, but that over the the forthcoming months shall be greatfully embraced.

~~ The Winds Of Change ~~

Us guys are a shallow type of people - or perhaps one who like to see the best in women until the blatantly obvious becomes so very much obvious.

Back before I met the rag-tag scraps of crap that passes for womanhood at Eastlakes, I though all Pinay woman were the best things on earth. Kind, caring, and the greatest of friends.
But alas reality has a way of hiting us in the face eventually and then move on to the poor ignorant who next gets involved with the crap that is peddled.

Sooner or later you meet Korean and begin to think - Eastlakes what?

The Aussie Aswang asks you to take a moment to appreciate the CREDIBILITY that is Korea.

Oh yeah, we originally went down to get this retor-liveried Thai Jumbo.
But by then, few of us cared.

Where else but in wonderful Manila.

~~ OPERATION ADOBO #6 - November 2011 ~~

A couple more photos from the recent Philippines trip, mostly to trial the downloading to Blogger from a different computer.

This selection of shots come from our second day, which saw us attend a meeting of FILDAC (Philippine Diecast Aircraft Collectors) before heading down to Multinational to photograph the real thing, then on to Pasay Road station in time to witness a massive storm and train delays due to flooding at Espana.

Operation Adobo #6 - 2011

BLOGGER

Yes I know it is a free service, so there is no need to point that out, but still, if you offer a service, perhaps at least make it half decent.

More and more commonly is the photo uploading problem below.
While marginally better than the error message you otherwise get, it is still a bloody irritating event that Google is either unable to, or just can't be arsed to, fix.

The obvious solution for the 'Aussie Aswang' is a move to Wordpress.
If and when this happens, you will be notified here.

Kami Gig Schedule 2011!!!!!

November:
Fri 18 New Zealand
Sat 19 New Zealand
Thur 24 Xmas Party Balmain
Fri 25 Canterbury Leagues Club
Sat 26 South Juniors Rugby Leagues Club

December:

Fri 2 Rooty Hill RSL CLUb
Sat 3 Wedding Shariton Hotel
Sun 4 Hot Summer Groove Festival 4pm
Carols at Wiley Park 8:30pm
Tues 6 Corporate Xmas Party
Fri 9 Blacktown Community Council Xmas Party
Sat 10 Weddding
Sun 11 Earlwood Salvo's Carols at the Park
Fri 16 Corporate Xmas lunch Party Wedding
Sat 17 Rockdale RSL Club
Fri 23 Corporate Xmas Lunch Party
Canterbury Hurlstone Park RSL 9pm
Fri 30 Canterbury Leagues Club
Sat 31 Rooty Hill RSL Club!!!!
Ft: Southseas Island Show DJ
plus Band Ticket selling fast $26

~~ OPERATION ADOBO 2011 ~~

Part 1

Yes, it has been a while since I last posted. The endless demands of work, declining interest in things Philippines and, well, a general feeling of not giving a monkeys testical, pretty much led to a lack of desire to come on here and ramble on to my many disenchanted fans.

I do thank those who have emailed me to enquire of my whereabouts, however the rumour that I moved to North Korea to become a male prostitute is just untrue.

In coming months we will take a photographic look at moments during the journey to Manila with MrX - a journey that was primarily to attend to immigration related business.

One of a kind, this is the sole blue Virgin Blue (or Virgin Australia if you must) jet and at the time of photographing was due to soon go in for a repaint into the boring new corporate white livery.

Although, at time of typing, it was still flying around the country.

MrX seemed a little more excited than usual during this flight. I am unsure of the source for such excitment, though I do have a rough idea. :-)

Take off was from the third runway, over Botany Bay and Kurnell, before turning west to fly out over Bathurst, Bourke, Mt Isa, before turning towards Katherine and Darwin.

Darwin - the first time I have been to this northern outpost of Australia.

Sadly it was just a 2-3 hour stopover enroute to Manila, but still we got a good look during landings and take off.

Am sort of thinking of an extended stay here during a future trip.

Ahhhh yes, you know when you are in Manila :-)

More exciting adventures to come!

~~ PHOTOS FROM THE SOUTHERN HIGHLANDS ~~