~~ DOWN THE FERAL HIGHWAY ~~

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CANBERRA - It ain't a name that conjures up images of endless action filled nights, heart racing entertainment and the first on everyones holiday listing, indeed unless you are into heaps of reasonably cheap porn and fireworks, or have some strange fetish for red headed prime ministers with weird voices, I suppose there is no real reason you would want to head there at all. Even then, it would probably have to be on the cheap, even a free holiday won, after an insane amount of luck (although that is a relative term), in some shop competition. Regardless of all this heart pounding action, and very real danger of falling asleep, I set forth south with MrX and littleones, in search of the famed Canberra model railway exhibition, held yearly at the Kayleen High School, or whatever that wanky new university name is. The exhibition was great, a large range of different layouts. Some terrific ideas for the layout I plan after our upcoming move of residence. The catering was, regretfully, deplorable at best. We got there at 1pm and had to pick from the vary scarce remains of items on sale. Not sure if it was a catering company with no experience, or they were just massively overwhelmed during the morning. I had to, and it pains me to admit it, settle for a Schweppes Lemonade for some sort of liquid refreshment. I mean, it was that or bloody Diet Coke, which we all know tastes like a cross between urine and mud - or so I am told. Finally, after a great day we started heading home. Much to my delight, MrX took the wrong road and we ended up on a 2 hour back road exploration to get back to the Federal Highway (only 26kms back out of Canberra). Arrival back home was at 11pm. Given my constant love of Manila's intensely busy atmosphere, and my growing up in the city, it surprises many that the country is where I want to be. I want nothing more than to move out bush and spend my life forever in complete silent relaxation.

BUT THEN I'M A BLOKE - SO WHAT SAY DO I HAVE.

Firstly I must point out that my delay in bringing this rant to you has been courtesy of a severe (actually a gross understatement) case of of the squirts, possibly brought on by the shit fed to me from people within the TFC company, but more likely from food poisoning or some type of bastard tummy bug.

That being concluded with, I do not wish to delay the conveying of my utter contempt, disgust, disgustofedness with ABS-CBN, or TFC (That Filipino Crap) in which they trade under in Australia, and quite possibly other unfortunate countries.

Now I have dealt with Telstra, Optus, OneTel, Foxtel, Citibank and the like, so I am no stranger to the crappiest of service that companies have decided fit to dish out. But at least these vile examples of customer service do not change the rules as things go along.

We know what we were told and we are not stupid enough to believe the constant changes were a simple case of misunderstanding. You may be dealing with a Filipino community here, but you are now bound by AUSTRALIAN BUSINESS STANDARDS.

I am so pissed off at this current moment in time that I hardly feel they deserve the pure honour with being the inaugeral recipient of the 'Aussie Aswang's' prestigious 'F*** You' award.

If their is a Tagalog word for bastard, please issue it to each other at your next business meeting.